i always thought americans were into hair removal. aside from the traditional shaving and waxing, there are always all these hair removal fads. ever tried the “epilady?” it’s a hand-held machine of terror that uses twisting wires to rip off hairs in mass destruction. or the “hair-off mitten?” i had a friend who bought this brilliantly named device off an infomercial to find that it was just a sandpaper sleeve you slip over your hand to sand off hairs. boy, were we disappointed. boy, were we even more disappointed after we sanded off our hairs and then applied lotion (as recommended) to find ourselves experiencing the feeling of burning acid being poured down our legs. gotta love the american free market.

thais also love hair removal, though they have less (both hair and devices). thailand loves plucking. men don’t shave, they pluck all their mustache and beard hairs (which i think some cultures consider methods of torture, do they not?). and this thai-way, i love and concede to wholeheartedly: people plucking each others’ armpit hairs.

when i first heard that thais did it, i was like, “whuck? shut up.”

first, plucking armpit hairs sounds like it takes forever. second, plucking someone else’s armpit hairs sounds weird. and third, someone plucking your armpit hairs sounds even more uncomfortable, their face all up in your ticklish, odor-HQ. but thai people are always struck that americans think it’s strange. “what’s weird about plucking armpit hair? what’s weird about plucking someone else’s armpits? it’s easier if someone else does it for you.” (unspoken but implied message: “you farangs are all mixed up.”)

well, i’ve tried it and i’m a believer. i love it. now that i have thai roommates, i wanted to get in on the action and participate regularly. the only part that makes me feel bad is that i feel like it looks real weird. i.e. colonialist. i.e. i recline on a chair with my hands behind my head, while my two thai roommates kneel on the floor beside me and tweeze away. i’m one step away from giving them scarlet fever and making them refer to me as “madam.”

at least i’ll have a hair-free-armpit colony.